Were arranged marriages really that bad?

Recently we attended the wedding of our pastor's son, Michael Prell. It was a beautiful wedding and the girls both took the opportunity to get all gussied up for the occasion. Afterwards, being the wise and diligent parents that we are, Kerri and I thought it best to seize the opportunity to talk to the girls about qualities they should seek in a man as they look towards marriage (in the far and long distant future).

Being the father, and a man myself, we felt it best that I undertake this important task during a little father/daughter date.

And so, with two giggly girls in tow, we piled into the Jeep and proceeded to the local Pizza Hut to discuss matters of matrimonial discernment.

Having chosen a secluded booth, I sat across from the girls and began with simple chit chat about the wedding and what they thought of the ceremony, etc. Everything was proceeding as planned...

That is, until I asked what traits these two wedding enamored girls thought that they should look for in a potential husband or boyfriend.

I feel that it is important at this point in the story to point out that girls begin planning their wedding day much sooner than boys. For example, Kerri began around the age of two to envision her wedding, I however started much later in life... at our rehearsal dinner, or shortly there after. My girls have taken after their mother in this respect and on any given day can be found sitting on the floor of their room, going over the details of a wedding with Barbie and Ken, or discussing Barbie boyfriends and such.

Somewhere in the back of my mind, I imagined that all their attention to weddings and marriages might produce deep and profound answers to my questions about the character of a man who was worthy of their hand. It seems however that I was mistaken, very mistaken.

Our list of traits to search for in a suitable man began well enough. Topping the list was the issue of salvation. The man had to be a Christian, and not just a Church goer, but one who actually lived what he believed. Then a hard worker was added to the list, someone who could provide for the family. From there the standard dropped a bit to exclude murderers and stealers or robbers. And while I feel that those two traits should indeed disqualify a person, I had more hoped that they would be givens, not even needing to be mentioned.

From there though, our grasp of reality slipped further and to the list was added: kidnappers. "Because!" Ruthie pipped up, "If you marry a kidnapper, then you will be making dinner and go to the closet to get some food and you will find a kid there, holding a plate and asking to be fed." Ruthie explained "and you will have to tell your husband that he cannot keep bringing kids home because we don't have enough food to feed them all!"

The rest of the meal went well. The pizza was delicious and I think we brought things back on track a little. But I am quickly becoming a proponent of arranged marriages, shotguns and background checks. And definitely, No Kidnappers Allowed.