Monday, August 15, 2011

To Close or not to Close...

Two months doesn't seem like to incredibly long a time, does it? Well, it turns out that the answer depends entirely on what you are waiting for in those two months.

In June we decided that it was time to upgrade our housing situation from the one bathroom cottage we purchased back in 2006 and look for a second bathroom and a house to go with it. This process has made the last two months seem like a mere ten minutes... underwater, without oxygen.

Oh well, I hope that we have learned a little about patience and waiting on God's time. Waiting is hard, really hard. I think I understand how King Saul could justify not waiting for Samuel to come and offer the burnt offering in 1 Samuel 13. I am not saying that Saul was right or justified, I just understand how aggravating waiting can be. God's timing and our timing are not always the same. In my selfishness, I want things now, God doesn't always bend to my selfishness, though I think that He does indulge me more often than I am willing to admit.

When God makes or asks us to wait, I have found that I am ok with it, as long as I know the reason for the waiting or at least can see some point to it. In waiting for this house, I have not seen God's plan. For some reason, He has not chosen to show us why we have waited. He may never and we may never know, we may not need to. But through the relatively insignificant trails and aggravation of waiting for a home sale to occur, I think I have developed a better understanding of why we serve the Living God. He does not answer to me and life is not always rosy and pleasant, but that is not why we serve Him. No, just as I do not love my children because of what they do for me, I need to understand that God does not love me because of my actions and I should not love Him because of what He can do for me. He is an amazingly merciful God who gave His Son in order to adopt me into His family. That is pretty awe inspiring.

I wonder if we need to alter our prayers, where we thank Him for all that He has done, and maybe we should thank Him that He is. He is not named, "I DOES", he is "I AM". And so, maybe, after it is all said and done, I should stop focusing on what is going on in my life and start focusing on who He is, regardless of what is or is not happening. Waiting is still aggravating, but the only thing that focusing on the waiting did was to sap my time and energy from investing in my kids and wife. In the future, instead of constantly checking the email and waiting for the phone call, I think that I will play a board game with the family, read to my daughter, or maybe even take a spin at Mario Carts on the Wii with my son, and not waste the waiting time.

With all of that said, today, after a series of setbacks and extensions, eleven o'clock this morning was supposed to be our closing time. At the last minute, it was pushed back and once again we find ourselves waiting. just waiting, like Dr. Seuss in the book, "Oh the Places You Will Go". And so, today, maybe tomorrow or possibly the next day, we will close on the sale of our current house and hopefully on the same day, we will be able to complete the purchase of the new one. Maybe, but regardless, I am going to spend my waiting time more effectively.

I am a little curious, after we are done waiting for our house to sell and waiting to purchase the new one. What we will wait for next. Maybe the repair man, the auto mechanic, or maybe even the insurance adjustor! Aughh, now I am just scaring myself. Oh well, waiting is bound to happen, I hope that I can learn to wait better.

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